Follow by Email

Tuesday, April 22, 2014


Dear Offspring,
Although you apparently doubt it, compared to many children you are well exposed to public spaces. You have traveled internationally. You take regular vacations. You have been to concerts and theatre productions. You also eat in restaurants with table cloths and table service. So why do you feel the need, whenever we go to Walmart, to act as if we never let you out among decent folk? All home training goes out the window, you get a glazed look in your eyes, and develop a maniacal giggle. Now I do understand the strange power Walmart can have over a person.  I have gone in for something simple and routine, and left 5 hours later feeling drugged and having bought a singing Barney and a 25 pd bag of cat litter simply because it was on sale. Walmart does strange things to folks.  But the next time you get all get crazed, I am gonna leave you for your real parents to find. Besides, think of how much cat litter I can fit into the empty seats. We might even have room to get a cat.
Your Loving Dad

No comments:

Post a Comment