School Mornings

Dear Offspring,
As I gazed down at your peacefully, angelic sleeping forms this morning. I had a moment when I could not help but be grateful for the blessing of such healthy, wonderful children.  Then I woke you for this first day back at school after Spring Break, and you graciously ended my moment of revelry.  It never ceases to amaze me how no amount of bedtime preparation can have us ready for school mornings.  The clothes that you and your mother agreed upon just a few short hours before are now instruments of torture and physical proof that your parents don't care for you.  The backpacks that were so carefully packed with everything you needed are now suddenly missing vital contents that can only be discovered in the final moments before leaving. And let's not forget those pesky shoes that always walk away from where they are supposed to be.  So now that we are back in the groove of school, lets just begin by affirming these facts:  "I am mean," "School is bad,"  and "This is so-unfair."  So feel no further need to expound upon these every morning until summer.  I have lost a few brain cells because of each of you, but I will always remember just how mistreated you are.
Your Loving Dad